a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
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Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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