We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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