I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
