We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize