Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize