He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I love having hate sex.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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