Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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