I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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