I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
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we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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