I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
