How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
