i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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