Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
