You're earring is so big in my mouth
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
