I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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