I think I died a long time ago.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
