Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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