I cockslap morals
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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