I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
