I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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