i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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