wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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