the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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