haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize