oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
