I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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