Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
