I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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