come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
