i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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