I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
