i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
