So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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