Cold hands, warm shart.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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