i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
