There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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