Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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