And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
