I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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