i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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