can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I've blown a few things in my day
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
