im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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