TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
