for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize