I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
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Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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