i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize