i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
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I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
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I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks