Please, let me fuck your mom
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We don't watch enough power rangers
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.