Plan B is the new Plan A
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
