We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
