Sry I called you an 8
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
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I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize