I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
