That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
