you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
