my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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