I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
