goodnight i made you a song goodbye
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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