My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize